Plantation weddings are incredibly common here in the South and are a ridiculously polarizing topic. I want to begin this post right off the bat by stating that as wedding florists, we do not accept inquiries for weddings that take place on a site with a documented history of enslavement. I also want to acknowledge that as someone who was born and raised just outside of Nashville, I understand how ingrained plantation venues are in the community.
Before We Became Florists
Growing up homeschooled, Ella [Frances] and I were encouraged to explore topics we found interesting within the subjects we were learning. I love learning about history– especially U.S. history– so we visited many sites like the Carter House, Carnton Plantation, Belle Meade Plantation, and the Hermitage. When visiting those places, I remember leaving with even more questions. The primary focus of the tours seemed to be on the homeowners’ accomplishments, the battles that took place nearby, and the contents of the home. The enslaved people who made all of the inordinate wealth possible seemed like an afterthought.
To try and get the bigger picture, I read books like “My Folks Don’t Want Me to Talk about Slavery.” I knew slavery was disgusting and I knew it was evil, but as a young white person who grew up around a culture that very much saw it as “something that happened a long time ago,” I sort of set it to the side as something that didn’t really have noticeable present-day implications. After all, slavery was abolished, and the civil rights movement was a success, right?
After everything that happened in 2020, leaving it to the side was definitely not an option. My adult journey with understanding systemic racism was finally beginning, and shortly after, Ella and I opened Frances and Jane Floral Design.
After We Joined the Wedding Industry
Once we started posting on Instagram, we began to receive inquiries from planners and photographers inviting us to participate in styled shoots at local venues. Some of these venues were former plantations masquerading as idyllic farms with historic homes. As brand-new florists with a developing portfolio, we excitedly accepted an inquiry for a shoot inside a local park we frequented that calls itself “_____ Mansion.”
On the day of the photoshoot, Ella and I were creating our floral designs and mingling with the models and vendors. We were playing music, laughing, and enjoying the fall weather. It was a successful day, and I was proud of the work we all created. Little did we know at the time, the small brick buildings in the background of our photos weren’t disembodied kitchens or smokehouses, but housing for the formerly enslaved.
As I continued learning and asking more questions about Black experiences, I came across a poem called “Soil Horizon” by Tiana Clark that transformed my perspective as a new wedding vendor. In her poem, Clark poignantly explores the tension between the picturesque setting of the Carnton Plantation and the reality of slavery after her white mother-in-law asks to have their family portrait done at the site. Toward the end of her poem, she writes:
“I / said it was fine as long as we weren’t by the slave cabins, and she laughed
and I laughed, which is to say I wasn’t joking at all. She kept saying:
redeem, as if to say, we’ll make it acceptable: restore and atone, buy it
back, pay it off, we’ll redeem it, she said again. Her voice swelling,
like she was singing, and as if we really could….
How do we stand on the dead and smile? I carry so many black souls
in my skin, sometimes I swear it vibrates, like a tuning fork when struck.
down to the antebellum base, the bedrock of Southern amnesia. Can’t we just let
the past be the past? she said. Her voice swelling, like she was singing,
and as if we really could.”
Something clicked for me as I read each line, and I knew we had to be more cognizant of the venues we work at going forward. As my research continued, I came across more and more media that further solidified our decision to deny inquiries for plantation weddings like:
- The Civil Rights Movement’s anthem, Strange Fruit
- This conversation between two friends
- A blog post urging readers to avoid plantation weddings by Allison Davis
- Malaika Jabali’s article on The Guardian
- Pinterest, The Knot, and Zola’s removal of plantation weddings
I also read books about American history, racial issues, and how it all connects to the present like:
- Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong
- How the Word Is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America
- Far More Terrible for Women: Personal Accounts of Women in Slavery (Real Voices, Real History)
- Smashing Statues: The Rise and Fall of America’s Public Monuments
I highly recommend checking out these resources for yourself! There is so much valuable information to learn from each of them. For a comprehensive look at how the purpose of plantations has evolved over the last 300 years, read Madeline May Homes’ honors thesis, “Gone with the Wedding: The Historical Evolution of Southern Plantation Weddings and Subsequent Cultural Implications.”
Closing Thoughts
Plantation homes are obviously beautiful buildings, and it’s certainly fascinating to see architecture from another century. But plantation homes were built on the backs of enslaved human beings and should never have been made in the first place.
Celebrations hosted at former forced labor camps perpetuate the romanticization of the Antebellum South, and we believe these places should be maintained as museums that depict the full history as the Owens-Thomas House and Slave Quarters and the Whitney Plantation do so well.
As JoAnn Yao articulates in her article, “A wedding is supposed to represent union and family, but plantations were built on family separation. On children ripped from mothers who had no legal right to marry anyone. By partying in a place of horror, plantation wedding goers are denying the truth of what actually happened there.”
In their powerful petition, the Color of Change puts it this way: “Plantations are former forced labor camps that brutalized and murdered millions of Black people in this country– they are not party spaces.”
To the engaged couples planning your weddings, I implore you to consider the history of the venue you’re considering to be the location where you’re kicking off your marriage. There are so many gorgeous, unproblematic places to celebrate your new life together!
And to my fellow wedding vendors, we really do understand the financial implications of turning down a plantation wedding. We also understand the importance of taking a stand against upholding oppressive legacies, both ethically and professionally.
